It's pretty sad.

Yesterday was a sad day. I have known for a while that my cat Alara hasn't been feeling well. Since last December she has been sneezing. She was also having trouble breathing. We took her to the vet, and he determined that she must have nasal pollups. He was going to have to refer us on to K-State animal hospital to do any treatment. The cost for that would have started somewhere around $1,000.00. That was just his estimate. We decided not to pursue treatment.

As time went by, her breathing got worse, and slowly we noticed a problem with one of her eyes. It was very gunky and started to film over. When I noticed that it was looking pretty bad I took her to the vet again. The vet that was there that day was just filling in for our regular vet. She noticed that Alara's face was looking kind of flat, and her eye was pushing out some. She checked some things out and determined that Alara had a brain tumor. She told me that Alara seemed healthy at the time, and that I needed to watch for changes in her personality. When she stopped eating, that meant that she could no longer smell, and that meant it was probably time to put her down.

I knew that day was going to come eventually, but I couldn't bear the thought of having to make that decision. All I could think was, "How do I make an appointment to kill my cat?" Over a couple of months, she continued to get worse. She would push her little head up aginst us to releave her pain. When I saw that she wasn't able to make it to her litter box even though it was around the corner, I finally saw that she really wasn't okay. She didn't play anymore. She only layed around. She would hide too. So I made the decision that it was time to take her in.

I made the appointment on Monday morning and took the afternoon off on Tuesday. The same vet was there this time as was there last time. She knew that we had already decided that we wern't going to persue any treatment. I had to sign a thing saying it was okay to euthinize her. I got to be with her. We went into the surgery room. They put the gas mask on her little face so that she would be put under and wouldn't feel anything. Once she was asleep, the vet put the serynge into her little leg and asked me when I was ready. I pet Alara some more and then I said "okay." It only took a minute for her heart to stop beating. I pet her some more and then we wraped her in her blanket.

We took her home to burry her. Adam had dug a hole under a tree for her. It's a nice spot. I was relieved that he had already done that. I took her out of the box and put the bag that she was in, into the hole. Adam covered her. The other animals were very perceptive of my sadness. They were very loving to me. I told you animals know things.

I miss my baby kitty already. I had her for almost 6 1/2 years. That's longer than I've had Adam! She was a very special animal companion. I wish I didn't feel so sad.